A recent email exchange with a friend prompted me to write this.
Have you considered the thankfulness of God?
Do you cringe a little bit at the thought? i do.
In my little human experience, thankfulness often implies need, lack, dependence, etc… God is whole. Complete. Lacking nothing. He has no “needs”… or does He? Well… of He does, then they are only needs that He has chosen, like Jesus chose to be human and therefore chose to require food and water and sleep and… Stop! This is material for another conversation another day! “The Neediness of God”! AH! That makes me cringe even more! K, back to thankfulness.
Whatever the reason is, God is thankful. Scripture shows this. There are many times in which Jesus (a.k.a. God) gives thanks, like,
Matthew 26:27
“Then He took the cup, and gave thanks, and gave it to them…”
All the occasions i’ve found were of Him thanking His Father (with Whom He shares unity and divinity, so it’s almost like He’s thanking Himself, which seems weird to me… although, i do that sometimes… i thank “ryan of the past” for things that he did that make life easier for “ryan of the present”. Once again, i drastically digress.
“Thanks” seems different than “praise” ya know? Like, praise is acknowledging that the character or the action is right and good. Thanks seems more personal, like the thankful one had direct benefit from whatever was done. Does God derive personal benefit or satisfaction?
I invite you to consider this with me:
share scriptures in which God is thankful
why do you think He is thankful?
Does He ever thank anyone besides… Himself?
Does His thanks imply any sort of need or personal benefit?
I have written quite a bit about the offense of time. Now i would like to turn to the romance of time.
It’s true that time is so often the flashpoint for our offense towards got, yet it is also the backdrop of our romance with Him.
“He has made everything beautiful in its time. Also He has put eternity in their hearts…” Ecclesiastes 3:11.
Ecclesiastes, a book that focuses so intensely on the decay of time, on it’s vanity, on the frustration of it all, also here mentions it’s beauty. God has chosen time to be the atmosphere of beauty. God makes things beautiful in time.
To watch a child grow and learn.
To see a love story unfold between a man and a woman.
Plants growing in the garden,
bread baking in the oven,
a person’s heart being drawn to the Maker…
add your own example to the list, all these things reveal great beauty throughout time.
Moments and hours and days and years have always been the “places” we meet with our Beloved. I am a young man, and already i look back on times i found ugly and i see how God has brought beauty from them. I find myself thanking Him for horrible experiences and seasons of great hurt. Bit by bit i see the beauty of Jesus growing in my life out of these painful moments.
Though i am often offended at God’s timing, i am also romanced by Him through time. I sense Him answering a prayer, progressively, throughout the years, and somehow, it feels more loving than if He had given it to me instantly. Sometimes at the end of a hectic day, after securing 5 children in their beds, having nothing left, i will sit outside. Smell the air. Look at the sky. Feel the breeze and sense the simple passing of time, and i love Him. After 9 years of marriage my friendship with my wife still deepens and i love that God has done it this way. There is great satisfaction in beginning a work, pressing through the obstacles, enduring the crisis of heart and character, and reaching the completion (or at least the next beginning!) I come through these unfolding seasons with God loving Him more.
Time has been the place where all our love with God has grown. I think we would actually miss it were it gone. i’m not sure that it will ever be gone. There are indications of time in heaven (Revelation 8:1) as well as in the new heavens and the new earth (Isaiah 65:17-25.) We often think of time as an evil. What if all evil was removed from time? Like nakedness. Just a thought.
I would love to hear how God has romanced you or how you have observed beauty emerge through time. Please leave a comment and share your story.
Allow me to continue proposing my offensive ideas!
If you have not been offended at God then you have not encountered the holiness of God.
i’ll say it a different way:
You cannot know the holiness of God unless you have been offended at God.
Why?
We get offended with people when they do not meet our expectations. They don’t do things the way we think they should. They don’t operate according to our values and sensibilities.
If you never get offended with people for these reasons then you are just tremendously nice and i am very suspicious of you! In my head i’m thinking that you are probably in some serious denial!
If you never get offended with God maybe it’s because you’re afraid to. Maybe you think God will be mad and we have no “right” to be offended with Him anyways. Maybe you’ve convinced yourself that you are not offended because it causes you too much distress to face the fact that you are! I’ve done these things.
God’s ways are higher than ours. His thoughts are beyond ours. He is not a man. He is holy.
Holy means “completely other-than”. God is entirely different. He is His own category. The way He thinks, the choices He makes, the actions He takes, the feelings He feels are ALL different than ours.
Honestly, i don’t believe it is possible for a human being to come into contact with the thoughts, actions, feelings of God without being offended. He does NOT meet our expectations! He does NOT do things the way we think they ought to be done! He does NOT play by our rules! And He is wholly good and perfect in love.
Here is the holiness of God.
God operates on a completely different system than we do AND He is good. When these truths collide in our hearts, we encounter the holiness of God.
Listen, if God is only good when He plays by our rules, then God is not good.
If He is only loving when He does the things that we deem “loving” WHEN we think He should, then He’s not loving.
A god who makes perfect sense to us, a god who does everything we think he should, a god who is exactly like us… is no god at all. Such a god is not holy.
We must face the facts: The Holy God is not taking orders. God is self-employed. God does things His way and only His way. God is God.
This should offend you.
It should offend the part of you which insists that God should operate according to your equations, your system, your definitions of “good” and “love”. It should offend the part of you that will only love and follow Him if He meets your expectations. It should offend the part of you that is only willing to worship Him if He lives up to your image of God.
i encourage you to get in-touch with your offense toward God! And then… surrender. Throw up your hands and join me in saying,
“You don’t play by my rules. You don’t do what i think is right. You don’t follow my schedule. And… You are so good. I’m not saying that because i have to, i’m saying it because my heart knows it’s true. You are so loving. I don’t understand Your ways, Your timing, Your decisions, but i know You are right. Ah. You’re so different. You’re… holy.”
I would like to offer up a thought that i have been pondering lately: the reason you are offended at God is really time.
Now, i admit that i intentionally stated that in a provocative manner to draw you into the conversation! I’m pretty sure time is also the reason I usually get offended with God!
At the heart level, i think we and God want the same things.
I’m not talking about the carnal lusts of our flesh: these have nothing to do with the desires of God. I’m talking about our redeemed, sanctified desires; the desires that God has placed in our hearts. For example:
-healing: we want health for ourselves and for those we love. This is certainly at the top of many prayer lists.
God wants this too.
-provision: we want our practical needs to be met.
God wants this too.
-peace: we want war and murder and injustice to cease forever.
God wants this too.
-happiness, joy, satisfaction…
God wants us to have this too…
So, what’s the problem? If it’s TRUE that God wants us to have all of these things, then why don’t we have them? Why do we get so angry with Him?
I propose that the reason is: time.
I am absolutely certain that everyone is going to be healed, even my grandpa who’s body is in the ground and spirit with the Lord. I could be upset with God because He didn’t bring healing before my grandpa died. I could then conclude that God either doesn’t want to heal everyone or that “healing” must have some alternate definition, but that wouldn’t really cut-it. God does want to heal everyone. God WILL heal everyone. It’s WHEN -that’s the point of contention.
I think it would be better for God to heal people now so they can live out their days on earth in good health and achieve all they are capable of. God often chooses to NOT heal now. But He never waivers on His promise to ultimately heal. There is a real day in time called “the Resurrection.” This is the “due date” of all of our healing. Everyone will be healed no later than that day. And then we get to live real lives forever with Jesus in glorious, glorified, resurrected bodies.
i know all this and i’m still angry (hypothetically!) Why? time.
all i know is this temporal world. i can’t see the eternity right in front of me. it is unnatural for me to think beyond this life. God knows this.
I think that perhaps this force of time is in effect to sift my heart. if i will only love and follow God if He delivers His promises on my schedule, then… it seems i probably don’t really love him (this is far less shocking to Him than it is to us, by the way!) Thank Jesus that His love for me will produce a love in me that will endure even when i cannot understand the schedule of God.
What do you think of this concept of time being the great offender between us and God?
i was deciding whether or not to send my children to school, and i felt fear.
We home-schooled our oldest daughter for her kindergarten year. It was so sweet having her home with us and watching her grow in her skills and understanding. She’s a very focused and independent person and did well with working on assignments by herself for longer periods of time. This made it possible for us to home-school even with 3 other children to take care of (one being a rather high maintenance young male!)
This year with one child entering 1st grade and one entering kindergarten and another one entering the world (making a grand total of 5 youngins!) we realized we just couldn’t continue to home-school. We also realized that our 1st grader needed more social interaction and influence from other educators. Our kindergartner is a social butterfly and thrives in active settings. With a top-notch elementary school popping up down the road, we felt led to send the girls there.
A couple days prior to sending my girls off to school for the first time i felt the fear.
It was fear of the unknown, fear of wrong-decision, and above all, fear that my girls wouldn’t like it. An interesting thing happened: that sense of fear became a deciding factor. I realized that this fear was an indicator that i need to do this. It was a matter of overcoming or being overcome.
It’s not the first time i felt it. I was talking with my friend on the phone today and he is considering a significant career change. He feels the excitement but also the fear. We talked about the uncertainty: am i qualified? will i succeed? is this best for my family? And yet there is an excitement about doing it and a lack-of-peace about not-doing-it. In those moments the fear, apprehension, uncertainty, call it what you will, it becomes one of the indicators of God’s will.
I felt it during the CD project. I was facing a bigger financial challenge than ever before. I was facing a greater creative challenge than ever before. It turned out to be a major spiritual and emotional challenge for me as well. I was often mindful of the fact that it would be easier and more comfortable to not do this. I could stay where i am and NOT face new, unknown fears. I could do nothing and be overcome. Or, i could be the overcomer.
The overcomer comes over. He comes over the fear. She puts the fear beneath her, behind her instead of allowing it to be above her and before her. He crosses the line that lays between known and unknown, comfort and fear.
I share this with you today because the fear, uncertainty, apprehension you feel about what is before you may be an indicator of God’s will. This may be a line you must cross, a land you must take, a fear you must overcome. The Lord is leading us forward, not back. His kingdom and purposes in our lives are increasing, not decreasing. Jesus will not be overcome by fear, He will come over fear and put it beneath His feet and ours.
“Heart Torn Out” friends will be happy to know that the CD is now officially “in production” with the duplicator!
I know this has been a long time coming and maybe you’re wondering, “hasn’t this thing been ‘in production’ forever???” The fact is, there are a LOT of little important steps all along the way, for example:
-making sure the order meets all of the project needs: matte finish or gloss? full-color or 3-color on the CD face? Clear or colored disc-tray? Barcode? Digital download cards? Online promotional pack? etc…
-safely delivering the “master” to the duplicator via mail.
-uploading and “proofing” the graphics: the duplicator uploads my graphics into their system and then shows me what they will look like once printed. I have to view this and give approval and address any issues they discovered.
-when that is all done, the CD is finally “in production”!
What does that mean?
It means that in 10 business days (barring any complications!) the “Heart Torn Out” CD will be done.
This whole process has felt very long to me, but it has actually gone relatively quickly and smoothly. I am so eager to hold one of those CDs in my hands and to get your CD (and other cool rewards) into your hands! Soon and very soon. i will keep you posted as we finish this final step in the process. Thank you for standing by the “Heart Torn Out” project!
another project of mine that is officially complete is called “Olivia Jean Internicola”! She was born on August 10 and represents some of my very finest work!
My Grandmother is… unique. She’s a teacher, a word lover, a singer likely to break out in show-tunes at any moment (dancing may accompany.) She’s a debater, skills honed from a half-century of practice with my Grandfather (also a master of argument, God rest his soul.) Some would say she’s a progressive, a feminist and perhaps a bit… dramatic. I don’t think she’d mind me saying any of these things (would you Grandma?)
As they say, “Birds of a feather flock together” and so my Grandmother has had some rather unique friends. At a family dinner, Grandma told the story of a meal she had at her fellow-teacher’s house. After a pleasant dinner the hostess abruptly announced that it was time to clear the table. She proceeded to gather the corners of the table cloth, dishes and all, throw the clattering bundle over her shoulder and stuff it into the garbage can. Reappearing in the dining room, the beaming hostess proudly stated, “I’ve always wanted to do that!” She then explained that she had just purchased a brand new dish set and was ready to part with the old one.
Here’s where i tell the obscure reason i am sharing this story: this is precisely what i feel like doing with my music collection right now! I am sick of feeding off of the same old sounds and staring at the same old chord patterns. I want to grab the CD tower and chuck the whole thing in a dumpster! I’d probably be sorry later, but you get my point.
I’m ready for some fresh new music in my life. I used to listen to a lot of music and keep up with the latest sounds. When i became a Christian i found the search for fresh new music much more difficult. When i became a father i found that search nearly impossible! I am NOT a background-music kinda guy. I like to sit and “take in” an album: listen the the whole thing from start to finish in the order that the artist presented it. i just don’t have a lot of time to do that anymore. When the choice is to chase those adorable kiddos around the house or to sit in a room by myself listening to music, well, as appealing as it is, option “b” feels a bit selfish!
Fortunately, car-time and my morning run are perfect times to do some listening. Unfortunately, nothing on my music menu is appetizing to me right now. Another bummer is music costs money; as it should! Hey, i’m a musician myself and know the hard work and emotion that goes into a recording. I am SO grateful that people are willing to pay to hear my songs. The music-ministry lifestyle just hasn’t left me with much extra cash to pay other musicians for their music!
Musical hunger is driving a determination in me to find a way to get new music! Here are some of the musical menu-items that look mighty tasty to me right now:
Gungor
Passion 2010: Awakening
something recent from Jesus Culture
something from Ryan Adams (upon recommendation)
i’m likin’ me some Phil Wickam
Jon Foreman
Hillsong: “Mighty to Save”
Do you have any recommendations for musical delicacies? What looks musically delicious to you right now?
A recent email exchange with a friend prompted me to write this.
